This past summer, as peak burger season kicked off, I realized that it was high time for someone to apply a mild obsessiveness to the Missoula burger scene. It soon became clear that it would have to be me, due to three factors I know to be true:
- Missoula is, in my opinion, one of the nation’s best burger towns.
- I live in Missoula, and am an expert and enthusiastic burger eater.
- I cannot seem to resist a deeply primal urge to rank things that don’t need ranking.
Name something, I’ve ranked it. Books, movies, states, Thanksgiving side dishes (homemade cranberry sauce is number one, don’t @ me). When I was a preteen, my mom took my siblings and me on a tour of our local pizza restaurants. We rated each slice to determine, once and for all, the absolute best pizza in the small New Hampshire town where I grew up.
One friend and I often play a game we call “top ten,” which is literally just guessing the order of ranked lists we find on Wikipedia. Countries by alcohol consumption per capita. Fast food chains by number of locations. States by violent crime rate. Global cities by pigeon population.
Some people give me a hard time. “Can’t you just enjoy the moment?” they say. “Why must we argue about the ten greatest quarterbacks of all time every time we sit back to watch a game?”
I tell them the same thing I’m always telling my therapist: It’s a little weird, but mostly harmless. There are even some real benefits: We blow off a tiny bit of argumentative steam, we impose a tiny bit of order on ever-increasing global chaos, and we examine things we perhaps wouldn’t otherwise examine.
Anyway, all of that is to say, I know what I’m doing, and it was only a matter of time before I set about ranking Missoula burgers. Since I moved to the city a few years ago, I’ve bragged to visiting friends about Missoula’s cornucopia of above-average burgers. We have it all here. Everything from $6 food cart burgers dripping grease to fine dining burgers with artisan buns and fancy cheese. Many of the city’s patties are made of beef raised locally — from nearby ranches like Oxbow Cattle Company, Mannix Family Ranch, and Double K Ranch, to name just a few. The great burger per capita rate (GBPC) here is absurdly high.
I’ve bragged to visiting friends about Missoula’s cornucopia of above-average burgers. We have it all here. Everything from $6 food cart burgers dripping grease to fine dining burgers with artisan buns and fancy cheese.
But it’s not enough to have a lot of great options. This is America. We need to know which is BEST. To decide, I assembled a crack team of five tasting experts. Their credentials: each agreed that the burger is a near-perfect food and, most importantly, each had the free time and stomach capacity to spend seven-ish hours eating on a Sunday this past June. To decide which burgers to taste-test, I scoured the internet, talked to friends, and included my own favorites. The restaurants that we landed on were either ones that came up again and again on the r/Missoula Reddit page, were highly rated on Google Maps and Yelp, were loved by people we talked to, or some combination of the three. They represented the range of Missoula burger options, from greasy spoons to white tablecloths. The final list: Gary’s Local $6 Burger, Flippers, Desperado Sports Tavern, Missoula Club, Wally & Buck, Double K Ranch Deli, Scotty’s Table, and Brasserie Porte Rouge.
To grade the burgers themselves, we needed a way to standardize the various offerings. There had to be room to allow a restaurant some creativity, while remaining focused on the simple synergy between meat and bun that is a great burger’s true magic. To be very clear, as this decision caused some controversy down the line, we decided that we would taste whichever menu item was the restaurant’s closest thing to a simple cheeseburger. If that included a special sauce, fine. Caramelized onions instead of raw, fine. But, if the burger was served without sauce or veggies, we would not add any.
Each restaurant was graded from 1 to 10 in three categories: meat, preparation (condiments, vegetables, bun, cheese, etc.), and “overall burger experience.” We biked to each spot, split a few burgers, noted our individual scores, discussed, averaged the scores for each category, and combined them into one overarching score for the burger. I made a very detailed Excel sheet to track everything, because I am a Fun Excel Guy™.
A few notes of disclosure before the official rankings:
- Two burgers, Porte Rouge’s and Double K’s, were not tasted on the same day as the others. Their scores were added in later, for reasons discussed below.
- The author has, and would like to maintain, a personal relationship with a member of the family that owns Desperado. The author, thus far, has shown incredible bravery in sticking to their gustatory and journalistic guns in conversations with this personal relation.
- At least one of the owners of Wally & Buck is from New Hampshire, and the author is incredibly biased toward anything to do with their home state. Live free or die baby!
- The author recognizes that burger rankings are, at their core, matters of subjective opinion and taste rather than objective truth. The author also believes that his own opinions and tastes, at least in regard to burgers, happen to align with the objective truth. Lucky him!
- Lastly, the author would like to make it clear that, regardless of score and rank, each and every restaurant on this list is well worth your time and money.
Best burger in Missoula
1A: Wally & Buck
Overall score: 8.7/10
Score/dollar: .92
This should come as little surprise to any Missoulian with taste like mine (read: good taste). Since Travis and Kelsey Walnum (née Buckley) started the business as a food truck in 2015 (the Front Street brick-and-mortar establishment opened in 2019), they’ve served perhaps the finest burger this author has ever had. And this author is not proud to admit that he once ate a $45 dry-aged burger in a Michelin-starred New York City gastropub.
I’d take the Wally & Buck burger over that one, every time. It’s the perfect manifestation of the perfect food. The Oxbow Cattle Co. patty is served smash-style, with intense beef flavor and a cracklingly hard sear. American cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion, housemade pickles, and a toasted brioche bun complete the experience. Salty, beefy, hint of acid from the pickle, sharp sweetness from the onion. At $9.50, it has great value. The worst thing one of our judges had to say about the burger was that it was a bit of a “messy affair” to eat. He was right. It was messy. But, in my opinion, that is a good thing.
Biting into a cheese-and-beef-fat-oozing, sauce-splattered burger is a near-divine experience. There’s the Proustian flash of the childhood summer barbecue (for me, I zoom back to twilight at a friend’s lakeside farm. Loons trill and my feet are stained with grass and everyone’s laughing and getting along and there’s ketchup on my cheeks). There’s the momentary recoil of disgust at getting your hands dirty, and then the release of discovering that you will be OK. Maybe the mess is inextricably linked to the inner soul of the burger, if you will. I’d argue that the burger — this food that rejects manners, that reminds us that the sum of the parts can be greater than the whole, that hits all our animal senses and a bunch of our human ones, too, that can be a small celebration of life on a normal day — is best enjoyed with greasy fingers and a large stack of napkins handy.
Anyway, Wally & Buck’s O.G. is everything the judges and I could ever want in a burger. It’s inexpensive. Its “Burger Experience” score was the highest of all we scored. It’s the burger I hope would be served at my funeral. It made us happy and excited to be eating burgers together, even when we’d already been eating burgers together for over four hours. Congrats to Wally & Buck, we applaud your excellence and your value. You are Missoula’s Best Burger.
1B: Brasserie Porte Rouge
Overall score: 8.9/10
Score/dollar: .69
I know, I know, I can already read the comments: Having a 1A and 1B on a burger ranking is a cop-out, this guy sucks. Look, sometimes extraordinary situations call for extraordinary measures, and the burger situation in Missoula is extraordinary. Also, if you don’t like it, make your own list.
Our initial day of tasting did not include Brasserie Porte Rouge, but in writing this story my editor requested that I include the E. Front St. restaurant, since they serve her own favorite burger in town. Yes, unbeknownst to me until recently, Missoula’s fine dining heavy-hitter Porte Rouge has a burger on their lunch menu. And with a slightly higher overall burger score than Wally & Buck, it very nearly captured the top spot on this list. The only factor bumping it from 1A to 1B was its lower value score (although the $13 meal does include their superb frites), and the fact that it is only served during lunch.
A smaller contingent of our original judging team sampled the burger while sitting out on the Porte Rouge patio. I’d eaten at the restaurant a few times for special dinners, with my nice pants on. But there I was, in shorts and a T-shirt, enjoying a big, American-cheese-covered lunch at one of the more expensive spots in town. It felt a bit naughty.
The burger itself was the Platonic ideal of a cheeseburger, just like Wally & Buck’s. If the world is somehow apocalypsed out of being, and all memory of the burger lost, until finally, eons pass and some advanced alien civilization uses as-yet-unknown anthropological techniques to uncover and recreate the best parts of life on Earth, I’d want them to find this burger. Maybe a few other things, too, but definitely this burger. Porte Rouge serves double Oxbow patties on house buns baked fresh each morning, with two slices of American cheese, lettuce, pickles, thin slices of onion, and a house “smash” sauce. The bun was perfect — it was soft and a bit chewy, but maintained structural integrity to the last bite. The patties were smashed thin, crispy-edged, charred and savory. The vegetables added crunch and some sweetness and acidity without overwhelming the beef. In our tasting notes, the word “yummalishiousness” was used. Also, one judge wrote that “strong hints of clam chowder in the sauce made for an interesting and pleasant flavor experience,” which is presented here without comment.
In any case, this is an excellent burger served in elegant surroundings. When you visit, might I suggest you pair it with a fine Grenache? I’m told the spicy red fruit notes complement the burger well.
Best value burger
Gary’s Local $6 Burgers
Overall score: 8.1/10
Score/dollar: 1.34
It’s right there in the name. Six bucks. The last time we had a burger this good, this cheap, was never. The relatively new food truck, which The Pulp covered last year, is on the corner of E. Front and Clay streets downtown, challenging Porte Rouge and Wally & Buck for Missoula waterfront burger supremacy. It holds its own. We arrived, ordered, and sat on the benches arranged outside the truck to eat. The burger was simple, delicious, and served wrapped in white paper. Montana beef, griddled local Walla Walla onions, American cheese, potato bun. One of our judges wrote “the first bite, wow-factor, was impressive,” and we all agreed. The first note of grilled onion was incredibly sweet, and the crusty sear on the beef was mouthwatering. The melty cheese and soft bun — slightly steamed in the wrapper — melded the whole thing together. The overall effect is almost that of a burger dumpling, in the absolute best way.
Value-wise, Gary’s can’t be beat in Missoula. It was the only burger we tasted with a score per dollar ratio over 1.0. They’re ready almost immediately, wrapped to go, and not so huge that your afternoon would be ruined if you ate one for lunch on a work day.
After our approximately seven-hour burger tasting, one judge, blown away by the quality and value, brought his girlfriend back to Gary’s for dinner later that same night. More recently, that same judge and I, starving after an epic bike ride, split six of their burgers, three each. I found that after the first burger, I forgot how cold and wet I was. After the second, I was no longer hungry. The third made me feel all warm and fluttery inside, like the first intimations of true love, or maybe it was the heart disease setting in. Regardless, all that for only $18? In this economy? Sign me up.
Best of the rest
Scotty’s Table
Overall score: 8/10
Score/dollar: .36
Sadly, as of late August, Scotty’s Table is ending regular dinner service. They will remain open, however, for brunch on Saturdays and Sundays, and will continue to serve their burger. On our tasting day, the restaurant was very welcoming to us, despite the fact that we requested a six-top at dinner time and only ordered two burgers. This was the largest burger we tasted, with a half pound of Oxbow beef atop a hearty Bernice’s bun. It was cooked medium rare and very juicy, although the bottom bun performed admirably in containing the drippings. The house pickles were impressive: sweet, spicy, and with plenty of bite to complement the richness of the meat.
At $23, it occupies a wholly different price point than most on this list. But at a treat-yourself brunch, it is the perfect thing to soak up last night’s bad decisions.
Flippers
Overall score: 7.8/10
Score/dollar: .60
It should be noted that our server was extremely excited about our taste test, and cut the burgers into quarters without us asking. Please take this just as a note on service, which was excellent, rather than an admission that special treatment swayed our steadfast corps of expert judges, which it did not. This is an archetypal bar burger. Thick juicy patty, fresh veggies, classic bun. Flippers serves it with their tots, which are crispy and effective vessels for ranch dressing. This burger is best enjoyed during their weekly open mic night, with a slight beer buzz and a group of friends. If you’re very lucky, as I was earlier this year, you’ll eat your burger as a deeply stoned guitar player, eyes closed and swaying to the beat of his own marijuana-induced dreams, crushes the “Goodbye Moonmen” song from Rick & Morty. “Cosmos without hatred,” indeed.
Double K Ranch Deli
Overall score: 7.0/10
Score/dollar: .63
Double K was closed during their normal open hours when we first visited their Southgate location. The sign on the door informed us that they were closed because they needed all staff on deck to help with cattle wrangling operations on the ranch, which is cool as hell. A partial contingent of judges visited the restaurant a few days later. They dry age their own ranch beef for 30 days, and then serve the burger on Le Petit Outre buns. It’s augmented simply with homemade American cheese and ketchup. Please note: We ordered their most basic cheeseburger in keeping with our desire to standardize the competition, but when you visit, do yourself a favor and get the Double Smash Burger. That’s a real burger’s burger.
Missoula Club (Mo Club)
Overall score: 6.8/10
Score/dollar: .98
Full disclosure, I wanted Mo Club to win. The numbers didn’t quite work out for them, but this no-frills, cash-only spot on W. Main is one of my favorite bars in town. According to their website, they’ve been serving the same burger since they opened in 1890. This is quite the claim considering that, at least according to the Library of Congress, the first burger in the U.S. was sold by Connecticut-based Louis’ Lunch in 1895. Whatever. Mo Club has been slinging burgers for a long time, and they’re awesome.
This $7 cheeseburger (second place in our score per dollar rankings) is griddled to a hard sear on a small flat-top behind the bar, slapped with some cheese, smothered in white onions, tucked in a simple bun, and served on a styrofoam plate alongside a couple slices of dill pickle. The way God intended.
Go check out Mo Club. You might as well go today. You don’t have time, you say. Maybe you’re turning a new leaf, diet-wise. I get it. But the road to hell is paved with good intentions, and crowded with poor souls who wish they’d eaten one last greasy bar burger. Belly up to the oldest bartop in Missoula, complete with deep, coin-etched grooves dug by thirsty old-timers back in Ye Olden Days, and pair your cheeseburger with a whiskey. Be sure to throw in a couple pickled eggs for good measure.
Desperado Sports Tavern
Overall score: 6.7/10
Score/dollar: .91
OK, here’s where things get contentious. Desperado is great. Truly. Best wings in Missoula, hands down. Awesome place to watch the game. As previously disclosed, however, I have a personal relationship with a member of the owner’s family, who is very upset with me for eating their burger without adding any condiments. In my defense, the rules of the tasting were very clear. In order to standardize burgers across restaurants, we decided beforehand that we would eat the burgers as served, without adding anything. It’s not my fault that the Desperado burger is served sans sauce, with a tabletop condiment caddy. Our hands were tied! In real life, would I have thrown some mayo and ketchup on that thing? Obviously. But this wasn’t real life. This was an extremely serious, judged, rule-delineated tasting, and we refused to sully our journalistic integrity.
That said, the burger was great, and is an awesome value at $7. The patty itself had a dark-seared crust and was exceptionally beefy, perhaps due in part to the fact that the meat is fresh-ground. It’s also worth noting that, as a whole, the Desperado burger menu is one of the best in town. It includes a “juicy” burger stuffed with melty cheese (which I’ve tasted on an unofficial visit, and is fantastic), and a “frisbee” burger, which is a full pound of meat on a 9-inch bun, served on a Desperado-branded frisbee that you can take home. At less than $20, that’s got to be the best burger/frisbee combo in the nation.
Wrap up
If anything, I hope this has convinced you of Missoula’s supremacy as a burger town. I mean, Front Street has to be some sort of miracle. Wally & Buck, Porte Rouge, Gary’s, all in one 300-foot strip? That must be the highest density of quality burgers anywhere on Earth.
I also hope it’s convinced you that you should go eat a cheeseburger tonight. Or at least to consider it. You deserve it, probably. But even if you don’t deserve it, there’s a little real magic in taking the time to appreciate a meal, even (or maybe especially) such a common one. That day, riding my bike home from Scotty’s as the late evening sun set the Clark Fork on fire, I was very full. I was very full of meat and cheese, true, but I was also full of the realization that I’d just done something simultaneously silly and meaningful. I think one of the reasons why I love to rank things so much is that the process forces me to contemplate a thing that can seem unimportant or trivial at first glance. But here’s the beautiful little secret: When you take even a brief moment to consider something deeply, to ask a few questions of that thing, it is soon obvious that nothing is actually unimportant or trivial, that behind every part of our world there is a story, and people making lives different from your own.
The burger has become a bloated trope of American cuisine, or rather, the American lack of cuisine, if you ask any European. It is a food popularized and mass-produced by companies like McDonald’s, often highly processed and high in calories, and thus maligned for its effect on society. But we, at least in Missoula, have taken back the burger, made it cuisine, if that even matters. Small businesses supporting other small businesses and local farms, all working together to provide places where you can sit with a friend and share an inexpensive, filling meal and a few laughs. Someone behind the counter, someone that might live around the block, worked hard on that burger, to make you happy. They even provide napkins for when things get too messy. If there is anything worth spending far too much time devising an arbitrary rubric and ranking system for, it is that.
Please reach out. Let me know what I’ve missed, how bad my taste is, why I’m wrong about your favorite spot. I welcome it. I like to think that I’m resilient and can take the criticism. But mostly, I’m hungry, and would love more excuses to eat burgers.
